No matter what I did, peace felt out of reach. My body held onto the weight as if mirroring my emotional burdens. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), and in my darkest moments, at times wanting to end my life. I even resented God, disconnecting from the Divine source I had once known so profoundly.

In 2017, I hit rock bottom. I ended a nine-year relationship, lost my dear cousin, and was still carrying the pain of my uncle’s passing. I had cared for him closely—a Vietnam veteran who lived with PTSD and schizophrenia. Supporting him through his condition deeply impacted me and played a decisive role in my spiritual awakening. The weight of repressed emotions and unhealed trauma had become unbearable.

One of the deepest wounds I carried was from being molested as a child. For years, I stayed silent, thinking I had moved on. But that pain showed up in my adult life—through broken relationships, self-doubt, and the ways I disconnected from myself. When everything around me started to fall apart, I realized I could no longer run from it.

In 2018, I chose a different path. I decided to live alone—uncommon in my Filipino culture, where the family usually stays close—but I knew I needed solitude. I needed to face myself finally. The past two years have transformed me. My spiritual awakening allowed me to recognize my thoughts, patterns, and the wounds I had long avoided. Night after night, I cried and held myself, gradually beginning to release the pain I had carried for so long.

I used to ask myself, Why did I have to go through this? What have I done to deserve this? Growing up, I was a believer—I strived to be good, yet I felt it was never enough. I carried an unconscious belief that I was unworthy of love, shaped by the absence of my biological father. That deep wound of abandonment left me feeling unsafe in the world.

As I continue my spiritual journey, I often confront my inner child wounds, whether they arise in family relationships, friendships, or romantic partnerships. I find myself revisiting patterns and unhealthy cycles. It isn’t until I acknowledge my need to take accountability for my behavior and recognize the role I play that I can truly begin to heal.

But everything changed when I reconnected with God, the Creator. I realized that my struggles weren’t meant to break me; they were guiding me toward healing.

Through Holistic therapy, the Akashic Records, I uncovered karmic patterns and the blocks in my relationships, finances, and purpose.

The Violet Flame became a sacred tool for transmuting pain into forgiveness, balance, and harmony. My perspective shifted—I no longer saw myself as a victim but as someone empowered by my journey.

When I play the sound bowls, I feel the frequencies awaken energy within me. Reiki and other healing practices have helped me restore my mind, body, and spirit. For years, I ran from my purpose, afraid to embrace my Divine calling. But through my journey, God used my experiences to guide me—preparing me to share this gift with others.

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